Stories of a page traveler

Astrid Winkler Book review

From the banks of the pages, I am writing about books I read that inspire me and share my thoughts about them. I write about books I would love more people to read and get to know about or which truly inspired me or sent me down a roller coaster of feelings. Reading for me is one of my joys and pleasures in life and I love to forget time while reading books and get lost in their stories. 

Before I start my review of the next book I want to mention the book and my review contains a trigger warning. I will mention it in my post with TW. The trigger warning in this book and review contains themes of past domestic abuse and domestic violence.

This time book I want to talk about is “The Road Home” by Amy Alves

This sweet story is a friend’s to lovers’ small-town romance. Along the way, we meet Sean and Sadie a sweet yoga instructor and teacher who knocks mechanic Sean’s socks off in the waiting sense of the word. If only she knew Sean fell head over heels for her, she could have saved herself a lot of pain. But sometimes the road home gets bumpy and we have to learn the lessons along the way. 

Sean is a wonderful book boyfriend who waited patiently for her and helped her overcome the worst time in her life when she faced domestic abuse in her prior relationship she was there all the way down the road. 

Those two characters go through a lot and hold on to each other all the way and while you feel their pain you also have hope that there is light at the end of the road.

If I would need to choose a song for this book I would go for “I won’t let go” by Rascal Flatts. 

I wish every Sadie reading this, who suffered from domestic abuse and domestic violence, that you find your Sean on the road home. I enjoyed reading this book and hope I can inspire you to read it as well.

TW: I also want to point out, that abuse knows no gender and everyone can be a victim, so please always chose kindness over judgement. Because we do not know how arduous someone’s road home is.

If you need help, know someone who does, is a witness or suffered from domestic abuse, or domestic violence that made you feel small and alone, please know you are not alone. 

Here you can find information to help you to educate yourself on this topic which is so important.

https://canadianwomen.org/

To recognize domestic abuse it is important that we understand and see the signs. Here is a list to help you understand and educate yourself on what is often overlooked in this complex issue.

From one Sadie to another, I see you, I feel you and you are worthy of so much more, do not give up. 

Lots of Love,

Astrid

Information. about this reading:

This book is the 6th book of the LANDRY LOVE SERIES a set of interconnected, standalone, steamy small-town romance novels written in first person, dual POV, and with a happily-ever-after ending. No spoiler here because until we get there we have some obstacles to overcome.

For the record I would like to share the following information, this is an ARC reading. ARC is an advanced reader’s copy, it is a copy of a book before release intended for marketing and review purposes. Advanced reader copies can’t be sold and are given to bloggers, reviewers and booksellers for review and to help generate buzz about a book before it.

This book is available from 6th May 2022. 

You can get your own copy here.

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A single solution

The art of being single; An homage to all the single ladies out there.

As a single woman, I faced different obstacles at any age in life. Opinions of others grew from all the edges and try to convince me to follow a path, mostly their path, never thinking if it would be the right one for me. Because I just have to fulfil the tasks, I am given as a woman by birth. How dare I am not doing it at the right timing society commanded it to be.

It is still a huge stigma, especially for a woman who decides to stay single on purpose because she decided to find herself first. 

It can be quite intense and sometimes it can happen, and I found myself stuck. In a mindset or behaviour or a place in life where I didn’t want to be. I started to accept things as they were and I know other women face the same as I did too.

The status of my life became often a topic in family gatherings, meetings with friends or on other occasions. Where did I get asked questions like, “Why are you not married? It is about time, don’t you think?” “You are not getting any younger.” “If you want kids you better hurry finding a husband.” The worst part of those questions is, that they are mostly asked by other women, you know the ones fulfilling their tasks already the duties you miserably failed. And they do not hesitate to remind you of that, sometimes even unknowingly.

Can we please stop asking a woman at any age such questions? It can be very triggering and painful because you don’t know what is going on inside of her life. You never walked in her shoes; you’ve never seen what she saw. You probably never experienced what she did. So please just because a certain path was the right for you, it does not need to be the right for her. Let’s be kind to each other and support one another. Especially as women we need to support each other more, not only face to face but more important behind each other’s back. We all have a story to tell, and we all have the right to share it or not, without any pressure.

I experienced those questions many times myself and let me tell you a few years ago after a breakup that left me devastated those questions would break me into pieces. Lost in self-doubt and feeling worthless. Because society taught us as little girls, we have to be nice to be worthy. Be the nice girl, because people will like you more. Look beautiful, so you find a man to get married to. If I am not a nice girl, I am not good enough. If I am not beautiful enough I do not fulfil a task I was asked to take care of?

I truly believe happiness can never be found on the outside or in others. It can only be discovered within you and then shared with one another. If I am not happy with myself, I can’t make someone else happy nor can anyone make me happy. There will always be something missing and that’s the love for myself. That’s when a big change happened inside of me the need to make myself a priority and work on myself first.

When I started to reflect on myself and stop listening to the questions I started to realize what has been missing in my life and inside of me. I discovered, that the colours of my soul, the sound in my steps and the sparkle in my eyes were missing. But where did I lose them? So I started to meditate, spending more time with myself, time alone in silence, I started to read and reflect like this I started my healing process.

As I was realising during my process, that I was fighting for the wrong things being lied to, hurt and disappointed.  I completely forgot my value and my worth. Because there were so many occasions taking it away from me that I started to believe it. Don’t misunderstand me I still have moments when I listen to these voices in my head making me feel weak again, but now I have so much strength inside of me helping me to find my trackback again to tell this voice to get out of my way.

Let me share an example; Someone once sent me a video; the meaning to send it to me was out of encouragement to tell me where to focus on. Because the assumption in the room was, I have a wrong focus or too high expectations and that’s the answer to why I am still single. This person did not know my process nor my choice to be single and I was able to shut them off immediately.

The voiceover spoken by a man in the video was saying,” To all the women in their 20ies who are single listen to me because I am telling you how to become happy faster, lower (Here it comes.) your expectations, you are not a princess your father lied to you.” And so on, the video made it clear; As a woman, if you don’t have expectations you won’t be single. What if I don’t want it to be that easy? What if I want to have the right of expectations, such as men have them too?

I replied to this person with the following text; I am not in my twenties anymore, I do not lower my bar, been there done that, not approved by me. Yes, I am not a princess. I am a queen, and I know what I bring to the table even if I sit alone. To that, I received only one text back. “Checkmate”

This wasn’t a feminist attempt to make my point clear or any kind of making my point and showing my strength. I stood up for myself and I stopped a trial of behaviour towards me that I will no longer accept. Making fun of the status single in any way, and sharing it as “advice” is no longer tolerated.

During my process, I learned a lot and I became wiser on certain topics. And just like that, I started to change my perspective. I started fighting to let go and find myself and now I started the most beautiful and deepest relationship I ever have had in my life with myself. This process can be disturbing to other people as well. Out of nowhere, I was told that I am selfish and rude and that won’t make me worthy of any relationship. One thing I know for sure, others’ opinions will always be there but it is my choice not to listen to others’ opinions because simply I did not ask for them. In their eyes, I am ungrateful now because the questions that used to hurt me don’t bother me anymore. How unfair of me to grow out of their expectations because I focus on another vision of myself. 

Healing from the past and finding yourself isn’t a process that’s easy nor only wonderful and calm. It hurts, and it throws you back right into the storm you thought you left behind long ago. You lose people along the way you never expected to lose, things you thought were important to you aren’t anymore but as a reward for the pain you learn again who you are and what you want and you start loving yourself from a whole new perspective.

Growth will always require us to leave something behind whether this is habits, beliefs, careers, mindsets or even people. This is why making space for grief and letting go of this process is so important. You will mourn some aspects of your former reality to make room for your higher self. Honestly, it is all worth it.

I am completely aware, that this journey will probably never end because self-improvement at any stage of life will always bring change and it always requires work that needs to be done. And I am willing to do it and stay on this path because what I have experienced so far how amazing that I wish I had come here earlier. But without the things that went wrong, I wouldn’t be who I am today, I wouldn’t have met the people I met, and I wouldn’t become who I am.

I am grateful for the lessons I learned to become the women I am today and the woman I will become. Taking the first step is always the hardest but also the most important, we only need to choose the direction wisely.

Here are 6 ways that helped me to improve my life while being single, and I am reminding myself daily to make them my habits:

  • Change your perspective, get in touch with yourself.
  • Learn to enjoy your own company.
  • Work on your goals and create new goals on the way.
  • Stop comparing yourself with others, what is meant to be will always happen.
  • Invest in other relationships and connect with your Friends and Family.
  • Focus on the positivity, being single is nothing negative.

To the lovely soul reading this, single or not, with kids or not, allow me to tell you; You are worthy and you are where you are meant to be right now. Believe in yourself, trust the divine timing and do not let others dictate what is right or wrong for you. Make your decisions, choose your direction, say yes when it feels right and says no when it does not. 

I believe in you.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: This article is based on personal experience and may be triggering for people with similar experiences and life situations.

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Stories of a page traveler

Make your Bed Astrid Winkler

A book recommendation series

From the banks of the pages, I am writing about inspiring books I read and my thoughts about them. I write about books I would love more people to read and get to know about or which truly inspired me or sent me down a roller coaster of feelings. Reading for me is one of my joys and pleasures in life and I love to forget time while reading a book. 

When a reader is asked, “Why do you read so much?” I think the best answer we give is because this one world is not enough for me. Because sometimes you can even find yourself in the pages of a book or it turns out it is just a dream you are holding in your hands.

I love reading different genres and am not stuck in only one because I also love to learn new things, sometimes even about myself. For today’s review, I want to share with you the following book.

Today’s read: Make your Bed by William H. McRaven

I heard about this book many times before and how much those people would recommend it to me before I get my hands on it and I was surprised it is only a small hardcover I received and I thought, oh that’s all it is? A Sunday afternoon read of 130 pages filled with inspiration and knowledge. This New York Times Bestseller is not a traditional self-help book, nor just a biography but a wonderful inspiration that for sure will stand the test of time.

First of all let me start to tell you a little bit about the Author, “Make your Bed”  is written by Admiral William H. McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired) he served 37 years with great distinction as a Navy SEAL where he commanded every level as a four-star admiral. Early in the SEAL training and later in his different positions, he learned a lot about leadership, friendship and life.

He conducted all of his knowledge together in this book alongside heart touching and meaningful anecdotes to create this guide with a simple but great message. 

“Little things can change your life and maybe the world”

So what are those little things you might wonder? William McRaven shares 10 rules to follow every day to change our lives and if we stick to those rules every day we will be able to even change the world.

Changing Habits as such is never an easy task but maybe this is a little reminder for you, to take a small action every day.

Before I share a summary of these rules, I want to make it clear to fully understand the meaning of them. I highly recommend reading the original book so you won’t miss any of the touching meanings and the personal touch behind each rule. Take what resonates for you.

 

1 Make your bed start every day with a task completed.

2 Find someone to help you paddle through life.

3 Respect everyone by measuring a person by the size of their heart.

4 Know that life is not fair, get over being a sugar cookie and move forward.

5 You will fail often but do not be afraid failures make you stronger.

6 Take risks in life and slide down the obstacle headfirst.

7 Don’t back down from the sharks and face down bullies.

8  Step up when times are tough and always be your very best in the darkest moments.

9 Lift the downtrodden and start singing when you`re up to your neck in mud.

10 Don’t ever ever ring the bell – Never give up.

 

This timeless book holds wisdom and advice such as encouragement that will inspire readers to achieve more, even when life doesn’t seem so easy. Thank you Admiral McRaven for sharing your knowledge and your service.

I hope  I could inspire you with this resume to change your life and the world around you with a small habit you might implement into your life. Let me know what you think in the comments and inspire each other with our stories of life or if you want to send me your book recommendations. Looking forward to reading from you.

If you want to know more about the stories behind the rules, get your copy here: Make your Bed by William H. Mc. Raven

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Healing Is A Journey Of Growth

Growth is unstoppable – if you don’t stop yourself.

In the last couple of weeks, it was a little quiet here. Lately, I have had a lot of stress at work and so much to do besides it and to move forward. I realised I had to take a break and talk deeper to myself. Learn lessons, understand emotions and accept all of them.  And you know what? It is okay. Because it means I’m growing. It means I will not stop.

Change is inevitable, personal growth is always a decision. 

Growing is a journey without a final destination. We will never reach that one day where we can say, all is done. We will never be as perfect as we make ourselves believe we should be. And it is okay because we are all on our very personal journey where we make our own rules, mistakes and lessons.

If you need to stay away for some days in silence or be loud and dance in the kitchen. Do it. It is your journey. No right or wrong (for safety reasons I need to say, as long as it is not illegal) Accept your weaknesses, introduce them as friendly as your strengths. Let them know that they are allowed to be a part of you because of them, you are who you are today. And sometimes it takes time to figure out how much positivity is hidden in all the things we thought are negative. There are so many gifts inside us. Open them, come to know about them, learn how to make them yours.

This journey is the most important travel experience you will ever make. The trip within you where you can only come back stronger. This way isn’t easy and you will struggle a lot. I do struggle too and I have my great days and my not so great days. But I learn to be responsible for my own peace and not let anyone else destroy it because of their own emotions and wounds.

I am responsible for my peace. You are responsible for your peace. 

A couple of days ago I saw that one quote saying “heal before you have children so they never have to heal from having you as a parent.” And what should I say, it hit me deeply and it made me also realise I can heal for mine too I heal to be the change I want to see in my own future.

We all have our wounds, we are turning into wisdom.

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Sharing Is Caring

Sharing is caring and today I want to share a very special recipe with you. The springtime is here and all the amazing recipes which are given by our grandmothers are back in our kitchens. Also, the one I am going to share with you, a piece of heaven during springtime, and an absolute classic.

Carrot Cake (Swiss recipe)

Ingredients

  • 250g sugar
  • 5 Egg yolks
  • 2 tbsp hot water
  • 250g carrot, finely grated
  • 250g ground almonds
  • 1 organic lemon, greater zest and juice
  • 2 tbsp Cherry (or lemon juice)
  • 80g Flour
  • 2 Teaspoons Baking powder
  • 5 Proteins
  • 1 pinch salt

How it is done

  • Sponge cake: Mix sugar, egg yolks and water in a bowl with the whisk of the hand mixer for approx. 5 minutes until foamy
  • Mix the carrots and all the other ingredients up to and including the cherry into the mixture. Mix the flour and baking powder, mix in.
  • Beat the egg whites with the salt until stiff, carefully fold into the mixture with the rubber spatula. Pour the batter into the mould

  • Baking: approx. 55 minutes in the lower half of the oven preheated to 180 degrees. Take out, allow to cool a little, remove the rim of the tin, turn the cake onto a wire rack, allow to cool. Place the cake with the grid on a piece of baking paper

The Glaze & Decor

  • 300g powdered sugar
  • 2 tbsp lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp water
  • 12 Marzipan carrots

Mix the icing sugar, kirsch and water well, pour onto the centre of the cake, let it flow over the surface and the edge while moving. Place the marzipan carrots on the still moist glaze, allow to dry.

Tips & Tricks

  • Form: For a springform pan approx. 24 cm in diameter, cover the base with baking paper
  • Tip: Make marzipan carrots yourself: Knead 50 g yellow and 20 g red modelling marzipan well, shape into carrots, shape carrot cabbage out of a little green marzipan, press onto the carrots.
  • Shelf life: wrapped in foil in the refrigerator approx. 1-week Carrot cake tastes best from the second day onwards

Congratulations here it is, a gorgeous carrot cake soft and delicious. I love sharing it and gifting it, especially during the springtime to my family and friends. It brings joy and as we know, love goes always through the stomach.

Sharing is caring and even a little piece of a homemade goodie we all can make this world a little bit better, maybe at least for somebody. Share your love and kindness through the little things.

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Celebrating Treasures Of Life

It’s not a secret anymore. Spring is coming to town, and with it brings the beauty of new beginnings. The birds start singing louder, the colours are getting brighter and the sun is shining a little bit more. My soul is awakening and is taking a deep breath. A new chapter is opening up and new opportunities will come with it.

“Beauty – is one of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon. You have only a few years in which to live really, perfectly and fully.”

– Oscar Wilde

The beauty in springtime is that it is also a time of reflection. Especially in 2021 after a whole year since the first lockdown during the pandemic where we still face an unclear situation. It is the right time to reflect on yourself and let old habits go to replace them with new goals. Create space for yourself and surround yourself with positivity while you jump into the new season. Soak the life in as much as you can, because you only have this.

New life, new beginnings and awakening are all around us. Each singing bird is a symbol of something new taking a place within us. Everything blooms at the right time. Colour and light bring a great spirit to our life. Spring feels good because it reminds us of how deeply we need variety around us. Great things are waiting beneath the surface to pop up and fill our hearts with happiness and joy. The most important things are the simple things. Fresh wet grass, a rainfall, sunlight on your face, a single flower opening up  – the smallest things matter still because no one else can experience them for us. You can only see them with your own eyes.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can’t start where you are and change the ending.”

– C.S.Lewis

Spring has always been a special time when I was a kid. The celebration of Easter for us was more about celebrating the start of spring. Decorating our home with tulips in fresh and light colours, baking a carrot cake in perfect shape and having the first steps into the wet grass in the morning. It was a piece of heaven on earth feeling the new start all around us. What you don’t see as a kid becomes even more important to you as a grown-up. I am grateful to my mother who always made sure we were thankful for those little things I am now able to cherish even more. 

Now is the right time to change what is disturbing you, to love yourself today a little bit more than yesterday, to celebrate life and its gifts every day. 

Sitting here in the sunlight outside in my garden where the spring flowers slowly awake I am thankfully reflecting on myself. Taking a deep breath, letting all the positivity filling up my lungs and let all the stress and negative thought go. Yes, there is still a long way to go ahead of me. But I love it even more, along with these little treasures which make life so special. 

Happy Spring everyone. 

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Why We Do What We Do

Since I started this report, by now five weeks have passed already, and I am always surprised how fast time goes by. Even though we are still in a global pandemic it does not feel for me, that time has slowed down. It goes there the same way as it did before, just our way of looking at it has changed in between. But this is another topic, which warrants another blogpost.

Here we are in week five. I shared my journey with you till here and there has been so much knowledge and takeaways that I sometimes feel I didn’t even capture them enough. But for me, it was also a huge change in many personal aspects. Training my self-awareness of my own Emotional Intelligence became a habit. And aren’t we all looking for new habits for the new year? Did you make one since you promised it to yourself before the clock hit 12? Maybe EI is what you have been waiting for?

This session covered the use and meaning of group-based debriefs which can be a good tool for teams to work on different actions together. Each one might get their actions to take which helps the group to grow and change for future challenges. But as in everything you are doing in a group it hides difficulties too. For example, time management for the instructor to give equal time and figure out where actions would be useful. Also in a group, we have to keep in mind different personalities are coming together where we need to be careful to keep the spirit positive.

We also got a short introduction to the Emotional Culture Index which Genos offers as well. It is a completely anonymous concept for companies to figure out how people feel in their work environment and what they struggle with or what makes them really happy. It helps to take action in the emotional culture of a company.

“The way people feel determines how well they can engage.”

To every feeling we might go through for example at our workplace there is an action related to it. It is beautifully explained with the iceberg model above. Have you ever felt any of those feelings and caught your reaction to the situation?

We can not always control situations or circumstances, but we can learn to control our reactions in different situations. If you want to know more about the impact of emotional culture, Harvard Business Review shares a very interesting article about how to manage your emotional culture.

Talking about the Harvard Business Review leads me to the real story of why and how I got in contact with Emotional Intelligence as a topic. And not only as an action I unknowingly used already. 

Everything happened at an airport. Yes, there were times where it was normal to go on vacations and board a plane without getting a side-eye. 🙂

So, I am one of those who always, and when I say always I mean like every single time when I travel, they gift me with their very special extra treatment during the security check. If you know, you know. And seriously I am at the point where I would be disappointed if they wouldn’t pick me out of the crowd. (If you are an airport staff reading this, I am obviously joking.) 

Well, I am a very patient human being and I also understand why they do what they do. But on that day I went through a very unprofessional security check where the awareness of their own and others Emotional Intelligence was clearly missing. The lady was not only extremely unfriendly she was also very rude and unprofessional with me and other travelers. I tried to stay calm until a point where I couldn’t hold myself back. Which was when her expression against another woman in front of me was racist. Speaking up for this woman made me the victim of her anger. I felt sad about the situation rather than angry and I just got on my way.

To change my mind I went through a bookshop just to use some time and there was this little treasure that found its way to me. “Harvard Business Review How To Deal With Difficult People”,  yes! Exactly what I needed.  And from there the story began…

” He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one  has arrived.” – Chinese Proverb

 

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Game-Changer – Leadership with Emotional Intelligence

Today I want to start with a little story happening to me last week. 

In the latest discussion I had with a colleague I was asked, why am I doing this course? Your Manager or team leader should be aware of and make sure that a team is working on a good level with each other and not leave this responsibility on me. 

I asked what is this person’s exact understanding of EI, and I started to explain my learnings and insights and why we all have our responsibilities when it comes to ourselves and our Emotional Intelligence but in the end, this discussion left me thinking. What if, everyone would think the same way as this person does, in the belief system, that everyone else is responsible just not myself. It also made me question myself.

When are your situations you need to be more aware of Emotional Intelligence? I also reminded myself again about my actions I can take and work on myself. Because we all have the responsibility, not for others, at least for ourselves. We all might have difficult times or situations we did not expect, and even more important it is to handle exact these situations wisely. And exactly for this your awareness of your Emotional Intelligence can help you to pass them in a different way.

Since I’ve been taking this course, I’ve been learning every week and this knowledge will stay with me for all the years to come. What about you? Are you aware of your Emotional Intelligence? Share your stories with me so we can share the importance of EI together and inspire others too.

Working on these skills and having them in my toolbox, ready to use in every situation is a game-changer for every kind of job or personal relationship and especially being in a leadership position in future. 

“ Leadership is not domination. It’s the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal.” – Daniel Goleman

Leaders in business looking to improve their organisation’s performance can do so by improving their emotional intelligence: that is, their skill at identifying, understanding and influencing emotion.

Whenever we interact with those around us or attempt to navigate our own internal feelings, we’re using our Emotional Intelligence. Our EI competencies determine the way that we’re able to perceive, comprehend, express, think through, and manage our emotions. By investing time and energy into developing these competencies — as explained through the Genos Leadership Model of emotional intelligence – leaders are able to bring more awareness to both their own emotions and the emotional states of those around them. 

Genos wouldn’t be Genos if we won’t have something to offer especially for people in leadership positions. In our last session, we talked about the difference between Workplace Assessment and Leadership ~ssessment. There are a few differences, even though they look pretty much the same from the outside. It is specifically designed to meet the needs of a person in a leadership position on a day-to-day basis. The Leadership Assessment is the same as the Workplace Assessment based on the Genos Model.

We also had a closer look over the Genos EI Leadership Model. Let me explain it to you a little more specific so you can see the differences to the Genos Model of EI Competencies I shared with you in my blog before.

This is the Genos Model of Emotional Intelligent Leadership Competencies.

If you take a look at both Genos Model’s you might see that there is not a big difference. Some eagle eyes might have noticed that the colour is different but that’s not what I am talking about. The main difference lays in the detail and here it is the last competencies of the model.

Inspiring Performance is about facilitating high performance in others through problem-solving, promoting, recognising and supporting others work.

If you want to know more about Genos International Emotional Intelligent Leadership take a look here. 

I want to end my report about my Genos journey with the words of Klaus Schwab.

“We need leaders who are emotionally intelligent and able to model and champion co-operative working. They coach rather than command; they’ll be driven by empathy, not ego. The digital revolution needs a different more human kind of leadership.”

For now, I wish you an amazing week full of insights and inspirations.

See you for my next report about my learnings & takeaways, till then, love what you do.

PS.

One more thing I want to share with you is this opportunity to be part of a free Masterclass with Genos. Learn more about the link between Emotional Intelligence & Psychological Safety. This practical masterclass offers insight into the neuroscience connecting emotional intelligence & psychological safety. Learn how to create a better working environment for yourself, your teams and your organisation. Register now and secure your seat, get yourself insight about EI.

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8 Steps To Cloud 9

Tell you what? I am already halfway through the Genos EI Certification course and I did not even notice it. Time flies so fast when you do what you enjoy doing, doesn’t it?

Well, without wasting much time on my amusement, I would tell you about the very interesting “8-step debrief process”. Oh and let me tell you this, the assessment is only half as good as the debrief one would go through.

To help you understand these processes better, let me tell you a bit more about my journey which led me here today.

After I signed up for the Genos EI Certification course, it was my time to do my own Genos Assessment before starting this class. I also received my personal debrief to have a look at my own results. And I can confidently say, doing the assessment is the easier part. It is the debrief where more fun lies. 

The debrief is included in every assessment to go through your results of your report. The assessment is clear to understand. A debriefing takes around 90 minutes and you go through your report to figure out, what are actions you should take and focus on working on and where are your strengths can use for your growth. You might be surprised how others see you compared to how you see yourself. 

So let us overview the 8-step debrief process:

Step #1 State the purpose – context and meaning, why are we here.

Step #2 Explore their goals – where to go

Step #3 Revisit the Genos model and clarify questions about it. (you remember, I explained it to you last week, feel free to revisit here.)

Step #4 Explore how the results are presented – The Genos assessment is designed to give the perfect overlook of their results.

Step #5 Interpret the familiarity and consistency results – How familiar are your raters and how consistent were their answers compared to each other.

Step #6 Facilitate an interpretation of the results. – results, comments, etc.

Step #7 Summarise key insights, actions and benefits. – Where are actions to take, where are your strengths.

Step #8 Discuss the response process. – What they should or shouldn’t do with their report.

The reactions of these 8 steps can be very different. Maybe you already expected certain answers and you are focused on your actions or you might be surprised, overwhelmed or just confused. In any case, I suggest you take some time to reflect on yourself, to see what you should work on or change. Here I strongly suggest. Write it down, because we all know how our daily basis is, things are getting stressful and we are going back into our old structure without any change.

Our supportive teachers showed us how a to debrief would look like and based on their role model we had the chance to go through these steps in pairs and train each other to do such a debrief. It is challenging and still a very good way to practice what you just saw and listened to. It also reminded me of how important emotional intelligence is, for myself as an instructor as well as for the individual I would debrief. Observing my participate and give my feedback on how I felt during the training and what I think I would also take away for myself. On the other hand, trying to do the same session as my classmate just did with her, openly and also receiving my feedback after which will help me to reflect and know where I should take action.

For me, the most challenging thing was to use a domain-specific language I was unfamiliar with. So my action out of this training is, to rehearse it until I get comfortable with the language and still be myself. Because an assessee will have more trust in you when they feel your authenticity.

Coming back to my personal assessment experience, I don’t regret a single minute of signing up for this course and having the opportunity of taking such an assessment. I know my strengths even better than before, I know where I have to be more mindful and where I need to use my emotional intelligence consciously.

“Emotional Intelligence can be the game-changer to high performance and personal leadership” – Steve Gutzler 

See you next time,

Astrid

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Gen(i)o(u)s Adventure continues

Wednesdays are my favourite days lately, not because Wednesday itself is something special but because I am doing something special on Wednesdays.

Every Wednesday, a group of EI-aware people meet for their next lesson on their way to becoming Emotional Intelligence Practitioners.  

Last week I attended the second day of the program and wow! Even more than before I realized for myself that, I am at the right place at the right time. When I started to read about EI, I felt so familiar with the topic and thought the future needs exactly this, awareness of yourself and others, in professional life and personal.

“I learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

Our second session was filled with in-depth information about Genos Assessment and it was so interesting to take a deep dive. We also got interesting insights into the Emotional Intelligence model we are going to work with.

Emotional Intelligence involves a set of skills that help us perceive, understand, express, reason with, and manage emotions, both within ourselves and others. We can apply these skills to help us become more conscious of our own and other’s feelings and more conscious of the influence emotions are having on our decisions, behaviour, and performance. This helps us minimize the unproductive influence of emotions and maximize their productive qualities.

The competencies shown in yellow on the model above, help us consistently demonstrate the productive being states on the right side of the model, as opposed to the unproductive being states, that we can all be at times, on the left side of the model.

Now let me explain to you our competencies a little better.

    • Self-Awareness is about being aware of the way you feel and the impact feelings can have on decisions, behaviour, and performance.
    • Awareness of others is about perceiving, understanding, and acknowledge the way others feel.
    • Authenticity is about openly and effectively expressing oneself, honouring commitments, and encouraging this behaviour in others.
    • Emotional Reasoning is about using the information in feelings (from oneself and others) and combining it with other facts and information when decision-making.
    • Self-management is about managing one’s own mood and emotions; time and behaviour; and continuously improving oneself.
    • Positive influence is about positively influencing the way others feel through problem-solving, providing feedback, recognizing and supporting others’ work.

Are you aware of those competencies above? Reflect on them, look at yourself and try to understand how others see you when you mirror them. 

Lately, I read an article about how Google began a multi-year project to discover how to build the perfect team. It amazes me to realize what Google started back in 2012, has become such an important topic today in 2021. And I feel happy to have taken upon it. 

If you want to dive deeper into that topic, I suggest you read their Project Aristotle. It gives you more knowledge about what makes a great manager and what defines a team. Both articles are definitely worth the read. 

“There exists a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.” -Aristotle

I am looking forward to learning more and take you with me on my journey.

See you next time, until then stay emotionally intelligent and don’t forget, love what you do.

Astrid

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